"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My penis needs a shock collar
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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