So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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