Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil

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(815): View more from Illinois

I gave up sex with dolphins for you.

Fav 10 1520 1023
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.

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(254): View more from Texas

He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American

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(312): View more from Illinois

My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.

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(585): View more from New York

i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.

Fav 0 29 9
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