i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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