WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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