Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
