You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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