I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize