The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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