she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
