Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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