Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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