Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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