I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
