his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
