So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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