I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
