is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
All I want is dick and wine.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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