he wants to bone in the snuggie
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
