if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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