You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
