We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
