I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
