kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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