They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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