Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
