im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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