I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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