at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize