Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
