new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I've blown a few things in my day
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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