things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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