Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
