God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
