dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
