what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
