I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
