I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
