I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
