so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
