high people should be assigned attendants
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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