Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We need to get me chipped asap
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