i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
