My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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