dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
