i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
