He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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