Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
