my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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