you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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