Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
