"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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