I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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