i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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