I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
