I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
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I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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