I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
