THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
