The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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