so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
