i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Someone shattered a urinal.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
