Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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