Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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